Texas Pages

I enjoyed getting to write about The Onion's "Our Dumb World" in today's paper. Sadly, I was unable to find a single page from the book that the more responsible editors I work for thought would be fit to reprint in The Dallas Morning News. It's a pity, because if you like The Onion's dark, scathing style of satire, the book is viciously, milk-through-the-nose funny.

On the other hand, that kind of satire goes completely over the heads of some people. So maybe it's for the best. It can be bad enough when mobs of angry people storm your office, but when they are humorless as well -- man, that's the worst.

All is not lost, though. The Onion itself has posted a few samples on its own. If you are highly technoliterate, you can even get some entires to appear in the Google Earth program. But you need to see the book -- it's funnier in its true format.

They're making their lists and printing them twice ... no, not the Clauses. The newspapers.

The New York Times has unveiled its 100 notable books of the year, and conveniently narrowed it down to a Top 10 list as well.

Meanwhile, the Washington Post has its own holiday guide, with its own Top 10 list.

And while this paper has reviewed many of those same books, the lack of overlap between the Post and the NYT is interesting. Only "Tree of Smoke" and "Savage Detectives" make both Top 10 lists.

Come back Sunday to GuideLive -- or pick up your newspaper -- and here's what you'll find, bookwise:

One of the big books of fall is “A Life Of Picasso: The Triumphant Years, 1917-1932,” by John Richardson. We'll take a look at it.

One of the most popular writers for the past couple of decades is Sue Grafton. We'll look at her latest, “T is for Trespass.”

Popular biographer Laurence Bergreen's latest is “Marco Polo: From Venice to Xanadu. ”

The always enjoyable Judy Alter takes a look at some Texas Christmas books, particularly
"One Christmas in Old Tascosa," by Casandra Firman and Quintille Speck-firman Garmany.

Patricial Hampl has another memorable memoir in “The Florist’s Daughter.”

Anne Enright won the Man Booker fiction prize for “The Gathering.”

Profit-driven English major ... is that an oxymoron?

Anyhow, on the heels of news that Hollywood actresses Reese Witherspoon and Angelina Jolie are getting $15 to $20 million a picture, enough to hire an entire department of English majors, I thought I'd offer the inspirational news that Ken Follett recently managed to sign his own deal, worth $50 million.

Now, I suppose the difference between Mr. Follett and most English majors might be: People actually enjoy reading what he writes. (This trait distinguishes him from snarky newspaper editors with blogs as well.)

But still, for those of you who would rather hang out at the library than at the plastic surgeon, there's a bit of hope.

Will Amazon's gizmo be a boon to jack-booted government thugs who want to know what you've been reading?

That and other e-reading issues are explored in this column.

(Maybe this could turn into a nice little government-sponsored reading group: "I was really moved by "The Kite Runner." What did you think about the torture scenes, Agent Schmidt?")

Because you love books, and because some of you love Oklahoma -- I'll let you know that the University of Oklahoma Press has 1,100 titles discounted for its holiday sale.

That last post prompts me to open the blog to you, dear well-read blog readers, to find out what you're reading and recommending this Christmas season.

Or, if you don't want to tip your hand to the gift recipients in your life, what's the first book you'll be buying with the gift card you know someone will slip into your stocking?

The National Book Critics Circle has a new list for book-lovers.

Here's how their Best Recommended Books for 2007 list was born:

"Polling our nearly 800 members, as well as all the former finalists and winners of our book prize, we asked, What 2007 books have you read that you have truly loved?

"Nearly 500 voters—from John Updike and Robert Hass to Carolyn Forche, Anne Tyler, Julia Alvarez and Cynthia Ozick—answered the call. Over 300 of our member critics voted as well."

The list is going monthly next year.

Gonzo fans, you will want to mark next Tuesday on your calendar in the hallucinogenic color of your choice. Anita Thompson, widow of Hunter S. Thompson and author of "The Gonzo Way: A Celebration of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson," will be appearing at 7 p.m. at Paperbacks Plus 6115 La Vista Dr.

Starting at 6 p.m., the good folks at the Garret will be hosting their Pot Luck Open House, where you can meet instructors for their next round of classes.

Just watch out for the bats ... everywhere.

Details here.

I don't know what Norman Mailer is doing in his grave at this news. But the folks at the Literary Review who give out the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award have declared him a winner.

As Bloomberg reported, the passage from “The Castle in the Forest” was "so full of what Mailer calls `'her most unmentionable part' and 'his old battering ram' that we blush to repeat it here. "

Bloomberg notes. "In previous years, women have 'squeaked like wet rubber,'' men have brandished 'iron stalks,' and couples have 'sweated pepper 'n' spices sweat' or lost themselves (and the sniggering reader) in 'a commotion of grunts and squawks.'

You can read The Associated Press version below, then take a cold shower. Or a Tums.

Don't worry, conservatives -- it's just a book contract.

Associated Press

NEW YORK — The memoirs of Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, the youngest and last surviving brother of the country's most famous political siblings and for decades an eminent liberal statesman and legislator, have been acquired by an imprint of the Hachette Book Group USA.
Financial terms were not disclosed, but a publishing official with knowledge of the negotiations said Monday that the agreement was comparable to the $8 million Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton received for “Living History” and the $9 million former British Prime Minister Tony Blair will reportedly get for his planned memoir. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity, following standard industry practice.
“I've been fortunate in my life to grow up in an extraordinary family and to have a front row seat at many key events in our nation's history,” Kennedy, 75, said in a statement. “I hope my reflections can contribute to a deeper understanding of many events in the history of this great country and to a more in-depth picture of an American family.”

My friend Joyce loaned me The Tapestry Book 1 and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's a first book by Henry H. Neff and it tells the story of Max McDaniels who is still in the process of figuring out his special powers (on page 262). Like Harry, he's born with powers he doesn't understand, he's sent to a special school for kids with powers like him, he is starting to learn about an evil that he must help fight. Yes, I know we've been there and done that before, but I still enjoy the ride! And there are a few nice fresh bits such as the hungry hag in the kitchen who must sniff the new charges so she knows not to eat them...

Last Wednesday, the New York Times ran a story about a newly discovered letter written by House of Mirth author Edith Wharton to a doctor with questions that suggested that Lily Bart was a suicide. Evidently there's been a split among readers over whether Lily Bart accidentally or intentionally took too much of her sleeping medicine. I have to admit I never doubted it was intentional -- the careful way that Lily paid off her last debt before taking the medicine made it seem clear to me. But I also have to admit that this question never seemed the most salient one to me. The article also threw out the thought among the "accident" camp that it was another one of Lily's "mistakes." I also think that misses the point of the book which is about the destructive nature of society in which she lived. Certainly Lily made mistakes at the beginning but the story is all about how her decisions to go with her conscience increasingly alienate her from her social caste (refusing to marry for money, refusing to use a letter as blackmail). In fact I think the most salient image in the book is the contrast in the beginning when Lily poses as a living work of still life art to the end when Lily is truly still in death -- much more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside in the beginning of the book.

These are among the choicest literary morsels (no more leftovers!) coming out this week:

The Darkest Evening of the Year, by Dean Koontz (Bantam, $27). The prolific Mr. Koontz returns to a familiar topic for his readers -- the sublime wonderfulness of golden retrievers -- in this tale of Amy Redwing, a rescue worker for goldens, and her dog, Nickie. With a few thrills, supernatural and otherwise, thrown in, as Mr. Koontz's fans would expect.

Day of Reckoning: How Hubris, Idealogy, and Greed are Ruining America, by Patrick J. Buchanan (Thomas Dunne Books, $25.95). No one has ever accused Mr. Buchanan, one of the nation's most recognizable traditional conservatives, of being wishy-washy. Here, he sets forth his notion that America is undergoing an "existential crisis" as a nation, and what he believes can be done about that.

Blood Brothers (Sign of Seven Trilogy, Book 1), by Nora Roberts ($7.99, Jove). The hugely popular Ms. Roberts begins a new series centering around strange things that happen in a small town every seven years ... on the seventh day of the seventh month. Sounds creepy. I'm there.

A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion: The Essential Scientific Writings of Albert Einstein, edited by Stephen W. Hawking (Running Press, $29.95). One great scientific mind collects the best from another. The title is from a quote by Einstein: "People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." Sounds like the producers of Heroes and Journeyman were paying attention.

The recent attention over the Kindle reminded me of another Amazon innovation that has not gotten as much press of late.

Amazon Shorts has been allowing people to upload short stories, then sell them for 49 cents.

It the two years it has been running, it has not exactly turned the literary world upside-down. But it does allow one more venue for local writers (such as blog reader L.A. Starks ) to get their work out. And I know that at least one literary award -- the 2007 "Spur Award" for best Western short fiction -- went to an Amazon Shorts title called "Comanche Moon".

If you're a writer or a reader who uses Amazon Shorts, what have your experiences been like?

Alert reader Michael Precker notifies us that the Atlanta newspaper is having some fun with bad book titles.

Their winner, a book that Amazon.com confirms is real:

"Cooking With Pooh."

Love her or hate her, ya gotta give J.K. Rowling credit: What other author could snag a spot on the cover of "Entertainment Weekly," much less be named the Entertainer of the Year?

Here's a look at what's coming Sunday in GuideLive.

Our main attraction is a double bill of comedy: “Diaries 1969-1979: The Python Years,” by Michael Palin and “Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life,” by Steve Martin.

Also on the bill:

“Beethoven Was One-Sixteenth Black,” by Nadine Gordimer.

“The Oil and the Glory: The Pursuit of Empire and Fortune on the Caspian Sea,” by Steve LeVine of Dallas.

“Gentlemen of the Road” by Michael Chabon.

“The Rest Is Noise: Listening to the Twentieth Century,” by Alex Ross.

Before you dive into your own turkeys (or Tofurkey, if you are vegetarian, or other traditional delights if you are on the road), snack on some snarky fun with the annual celebrity turkey roundup in GuideLive.

And feel free to nominate your own literary turkeys here: What was the most disappointing book you read recently?

(Or, if you're feeling generous, what books are you thankful for this year?)

As a special treat, enjoy a seasonally appropriate review of "Our Savage Neighbors" by Peter Silver in today's GuideLive.

The Guardian newspaper has images of J.K. Rowling's "The Tales of Beedle the Bard."

This is a little project of hers designed to raise money for charity.

As I have said, I love gadgets, and I love books. I'm not one who looks forward to a day when I have to read my books on a gadget.

Still, the Amazon reader announced yesterday (story below) seems like a step in right direction. If it lives up to the hype, it could be the first reader that tries not to replace the book, but to take advantage of the things that computers do well. Put another way, I wouldn't want to sit back in my recliner in the evening and curl up with a cup of coffee and a glowing plastic box on my lap. But I would definitely consider packing said box in my carry-on on my next overseas flight, if it meant I could leave five or six paperbacks at home.

(Historical aside: Some of you might recall that Mark Twain, my favorite literary gadget freak, went bankrupt trying to bankroll an automatic typesetting machine. Its main problem was that it tried to adapt modern technology to the old way of doing things -- in this case, a typesetter preparing pages in a way that Gutenberg himself might have recognized. It broke easily, and the Linotype, a simpler but more practical device, became the new standard.)

And now, back to the future. Here are some links of interest, gathered from various sources:

Cnet.com offers a comparison with Sony's own reader. (Which the DMN's Jim Rossman reviewed earlier this year.)

Wired News also has a nice side-by-side comparison.

FishbowlNY reports from the press conference and offers some analysis.

Newsweek put the dang thing on its cover.

Curious to hear your thoughts, dear readers.

Here are some of the tastier morsels coming out this Thanksgiving week:
* The UltraMetabolism Cookbook: 200 Delicious Recipes that Will Turn on Your Fat-Burning DNA by Mark Hyman, M.D. (Scribner, $29.95) features recipes for each phase of the diet.
* Good Dog. Stay. by Anna Quindlen (Random House, $14.95) tells the tale of the author’s black lab, Beau, in trademark heart-rending Quindlen style. Example, when she starts to realize Beau's best years may be behind him: "The eyes and ears may have gone, but the nose was eternal. And the tail. The tail still wagged, albeit at half-staff. When it stops, I thought more than once, then we’ll know." For anyone who loved John Grogan's Marley, any of Jon Katz's books, or even Old Yeller.
* Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life by Steve Martin (Scribner, $25). We knew Mr. Martin could write; witness Shopgirl (the novella, please, not the dreadful film version). This fascinating memoir chronicles his early influences and later triumphs, and includes juicy sidebars on some of the comedy world's biggest names.
* An Inconvenient Book: Real Solutions to the World’s Biggest Problems by Glenn Beck (Threshold, $26). The conservative TV talk-show and radio host slams political correctness, poor people (just lazy, he says) and, especially, Al Gore, the author of that similarly named book. Amusing, if a little scary, and the perfect holiday gift for your friends who think global warming is just a big alarmist plot.

This being National Novel Writing Month, "On the Media" (NPR) is sponsoring a contest for the best 12-word novel. I'm not sure exactly what the prize will be--maybe nothing more than having your entry read on the air--but some of the entries are really fun and funny. You can check them out--pages and pages of them--at www.onthemedia.org. But hurry, today, Monday the 19th, is the last day of the contest. I tried my hand at it but don't expect the millionaire to come calling.

Because readers in general are apparently becoming as common as passenger pigeons.

No, let's not be so gloomy: Book readers are becoming as common as ... platinum mines.

Associated Press

NEW YORK — The latest National Endowment for the Arts report draws on a variety of sources, public and private, and essentially reaches one conclusion: Americans are reading less.
The 99-page study, “To Read or Not to Read,” is being released Monday as a follow-up to a 2004 NEA survey, “Reading at Risk,” that found an increasing number of adult Americans were not even reading one book a year.
“To Read or Not to Read” gathers an array of government, academic and foundation data on everything from how many 9-year-olds read every day for “fun” (54 percent) to the percentage of high school graduates deemed by employers as “deficient” in writing in English (72 percent).
“I've done a lot of work in statistics in my career, and I've never seen a situation where so much data was pulled from so many places and absolutely everything is so consistent,” NEA chairman Dana Gioia said.

Word has arrived of a multi-author signing Saturday at Barnes & Noble Firewheel Town Center, 190 Cedar Sage Drive in Garland.

From noon to 2 p.m., you'll find:

Scott Murray, "Whatever it Takes;"
Pat Kochen, "Once Upon a Time In Dallas Through the Artist's Eyes"
Nancy Barry, "When Reality Hits"
Laura Lewis, " 52 Ways to a Better You"

Then, from 2 to 4 p.m.:

Steve Price, "Valley of the Big Cats"
Mark Rice, "Downtown Dallas"
Kittie Beletic, "What Color is Your Dream"
Annette Colby, "Your Highest Potential"

A couple of weeks ago I posted about Bill Holman, author of The Orphans Nine Commandments, the story of his childhood in the child care system of Oklahoma during the Depression. Over the years, through persistent effort, Bill discovered who his father was and met his father's family. But he had no clue about the true identity of his mother, the woman who called herself Mrs. J. H. Bechan and who left him at an orphanage when he was six. Now he's offering a $1,000 reward to the first person who can provide verifiable documents on his mother's education, marriage, divorce, place of burial, and information on her family. Copies of the juvenile court petition and adoption papers are available for a small fee. Want to learn more about Bill and his story? Write him at PMB 142, PO Box 200255, Austin TX 78720.
If Bill learns about his mother, it will be another testimony to the power of books.

Author John Kelin has posted a series of YouTube videos on "Praise From a Future Generation."